1. |
Labor Vita
01:26
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2. |
Grief Inheritance
02:18
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Make and take away
I'm losing faith I'm fuckin
Tired of losing things I just want to feel good again
But all I can do
Is sit and wait
Tragedy around every corner
Getting close liability
But I dont want to feel nothing
But I dont want to know no-one at all
So I count the fuckin time
Till it all falls down
So I play the fuckin game
Knowing how it will end
Is this life
Is it worth the pain
To know someone
Have to watch them leave
Is it worth the fuckin
Times you
Spent there
Times you were glad
To have somebody around
Feels like a cosmic joke that
Every happy moment
Adds to the inherent
Misery that losing someone
Has to be
Friends and family minimized to ticking bomb
I cannot understand
Fuck me
I cannot understand
How the
Fuck nobody is mad
When they
Think creator does this
What's the point of a god
When they
Tear you open on whim
Fuckin
I refuse to believe
Something
Made us just to feel this
I cant
Believe
This is
The plan what the
Fuck is
This I'm
Just a
Mess
Eyes be-
Wildered
I cant
Shake it, I
Cant
Fucking
Do this
Mourning
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3. |
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We're so fucking obsessed with the objects we obtain
I'm no fuckin better but I know it aint good
Emptiness inside my gut subsides when I buy something
Goddamn chimpanzee brain wasn't meant for all this
Staring at a screen all day
My eyesight fuckin goin grey
Subduing my thoughts all day
With mental poison
Staring at a screen all day
Pondering on my next purchase
Dreaming that my teeth fall out
Because I dont have the money
I will buy anything If it'll only fill the void [x4]
Staring at a screen all day
My eyesight fuckin goin grey
Subduing my thoughts all day
With mental poison
Staring at a screen all day
Pondering on my next purchase
Dreaming that my teeth fall out
Because I dont have the money
[Hansel]
Status symbols fill my heart
Keep my mental state propped up on fancy machines
Doesnt matter that I feel unfulfilled
Is anybody ever really fulfilled
Staring at a screen all day
My eyesight fuckin goin grey
Subduing my thoughts all day
With mental poison
Staring at a screen all day
Pondering on my next purchase
Dreaming that my teeth fall out
Because I dont have the money
Unable to control myself
Wishlists just pile up
Know it isnt healthy the way
I put so much of my worth into what
People think of the things that I buy and that I like but
Showing off is easier than putting me out there
Something has to give
This is no way to live
What are we outside of the franchises
We're obsessed with
No identity
Nothing left of me
Moving closer to the endpoint of humanity
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4. |
Unbound
01:50
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Paranoia is deepened
Every day I'm alive
Feel it clench my gut
Feel like I'm gonna die
Cant escape anymore it's just my constant baseline
Cant enjoy anything
Eyes always dart around
There is no fixing it
Been mentally broken
Been this way my whole life it's just becoming
Harder for me to ignore as it goes on
Hey
What was that sound
Lost
Eyes wide
Looking over
My shoulder again (I'm fucked)
Convinced that
Somebody's been here (watching me)
Never felt safe
Ever since I was a child
I've known the
Eyes in the dark
Feel no comfort
Know dread
Voices surrounding
Angry
I cannot relax now
It has been taken from me
Always on edge because a fuckin child was annoying sometimes
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5. |
Devoid of Pulse
01:34
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Kill the fucking lot
Transfer on the fear
Innocent
At this point it's just self defense
Laughing down at us
Spitting in our face
Nothing we can do would match their evil
I'm tired of moderate takes in the face of monsters
Why the fuck are people saying there's two sides to fascism
Fucking sickening
This is where we are
Mainstream news broadcasts
Blaming the victims
Leave trans kids alone
Leave queer teens alone
time will come
Meet your god and face your sin
There's no agenda
You're just killing folks
Your turn soon
do you really think we'll lie down forever
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6. |
Resignation
02:18
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Getting mad again
Am I really so bland that my past is all I have
when I try to move past it
I can't think of anything to fill the pages with
Trauma fused with art has become a ball and chain
Don't know what I am
And I can't get out anything I really need to say
Fuck that
Refuse to credit
You for my creations
angry
My inspiration
Comes from my deepest hatred
Kill it
I've got to kill it
The bug inside my brain
Gone
I want it gone
I want it gone
Fuck that
Trauma isn't all that made that
Safety isn't what went wrong it's the thought that I can't
Create art without an open wound
And the feeling that's the ticket I've now sold
But fuck all that
I can't
Be held
To a standard no-one expects
But still now
I'm here
What am I doing
I'm drowning in my thoughts but I can't get them out
I'm dying to stop thinking about all my faults
But that's the only way I know how
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7. |
Under The Knife
02:23
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I'm so fucking angry and I can't help it
Used to think it was just me that was sick but
Every day just reconfirming that it's justified
To want to shed my skin and crush this place beneath my feet
Death to the pig fuckers who rub our nose in shit
I'm too poor to escape from my shell
Too scared to express who I am
By design we're held in place by the throat
By design we're too afraid to burn it all down
By design we fall apart to infighting
By design we cannot form community
Blatant hate on display
Violence in apathy
Highest powers in the world hellbent on stripping our rights away
And somehow people still
Bury their heads in sand but
It's only getting worse and I've been scared for so damn long
Flames to a fascist flag
Not much left to lose but so much we can gain if we can just cast the fear away, if we
Can purify in flame
Make monsters examples of what the fuck can happen if we break the neck above the boot
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8. |
Bruised Skin
02:59
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Returned to a point in my mind I thought I had long moved past
Wrote all my abuse songs and thought that I was getting better
But progress isn't as easy as just letting out
The darkness comes in waves and suddenly the bottom falls out
Failure
addict [self medicate]
Selfish
Pounding footsteps only I hear
Panic
Cower [there's nothing there]
Ears Ring
Too old to be doing this
Body cant comprehend safety never thought that it would last
A yearning to be punished for each percieved wrongful act
Constantly angry at myself for things that I can't help
I deserve worse I deserve hurt I want to go to hell
Bruised skin used to feel like an outfit
a pain threshold that I held in my heart
I never thought that it wasn't normal
I always thought that it made me tough
Just the way that it is when we were all kids
never looking outside your life is what it is
Then you grow up and the wounds all really start to heal
Then you realize how naked you feel without them there
Fuck, I'm aching
Again, Just hit me
Again, I need it
Again
Crave the relief
I need the escape
just look what you did to me
Dont you dare forget it
I wont be there to see your last breath
Last time we talked it was over
Why can't I reach a conclusion
Now that I've put some fucking years behind it
Why can't I just live my life
It's been so many years past but
I'm still bombarded by fear and thoughts of
The ones left behind
I cant sit still
Fuck
Did I
Fuck it
No use in dwelling anymore
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9. |
Maintaining Remorse
02:07
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So much these days I can't process
Familiar guilt bubbles up
I cant get over myself
Cannot make myself be enough
I
Should
Be
Glad
That I'm
At
Least
There
But I'm so fucking tired
Grey matter replaced with bile
Memories just feed it
Trying to be better and
Take a step foreward
Dull the edge, ignore, repeat
Pheonix reborn in piss and
Soaked in regret, atrophied
Admiration feels insulting
Because I think I'm not doing
Anything that warrants looking
I just sit around all day and let the world around me spin
Am I just a ghost (Dissapear)
Am I going down the same path I
Saw as a young Icarus
Before my wings were devoured
Every
Promise I make
Feels more hollow than the last I'm
Embarrassed by how I live
Close to better, become Sisyphus
React in anger again
Feeling overwhelmed again
Isn't deserved. I should be collected but I'm
Unable to progress
Unwilling to change my habits
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10. |
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[Ballista]
jawbone
off hinge
temple
cracked open wide
No
Too soft
You have to feel this
With every nerve
Fueled
With rage
I have to end you
To find my peace
[Mantikore]
HATE
HATE
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11. |
Necesse Mori
03:21
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hitbox Tulsa, Oklahoma
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